xmlns:og='http://ogp.me/ns#' Yeah. Good Times.: It's things like this, people.... THIS is why I blog.

Tuesday, July 12, 2011

It's things like this, people.... THIS is why I blog.

Okay, so... this morning I'm driving Child 1 up the hill to his fancy schmancy new Social Skills Camp blah blah blah. I'm nervous about it, because I'm neurotic, and I always get nervous when I take him to a new place for the first time. (He's not nervous. I'm nervous. Whatever.) I had left early because I know that parking is a problem in the area, and yep! Sure enough, parking was a problem in that area, even though I was early. I'm nearing the camp place when suddenly.... I see a spot. And hark, the heavens did sing. And the world was glorious. And all was right in the world. So, I go to... you know... park there, when....

Actually, at this point I think some poorly drawn visuals might help you.....

So, here's me... approaching the camp place, when suddenly.... there it is

I look to see if anybody is coming in either direction (and this is kind of important... because nobody was fucking coming... in either direction) and I make this herky jerky suddenly-turn-my-car-in-the-direction-of-said-vacant-spot motion so that I can make a 3-point turn and ACTUALLY PARK THERE.

And then I pull backwards so that I can prepare to slide into the beautiful, beautiful parking spot

And then as I begin to make Step 3 of 3 Point Turn, I look ahead of me AND SUDDENLY THERE'S A FUCKING BLUE CAR PARKED IN MY SPOT. IN. MY. SPOT.

And I make eye contact with the driver and I do one of these, except with both hands

And she gives me this fucking shoulder shrug thing as if to say "Oh well. You lose." 

At this point I've now got cars lined up on both sides, waiting for me to get the fuck out of the middle of the street so they can pass, and the FUCKING BITCH has parked her car, so I have no choice but to go somewhere else. I say fuck it and park in the red because I'm really pissed off and don't feel like circling around (and I didn't get a ticket!)

The red spot is about 3 cars away from where she is, and hey! We both get out of our cars at the same time. I yell "Seriously? Are you kidding me??" and she, of course, ignores me. BITCH!

We both get our kids out of our cars and then? We walk into the camp together. She's in front of me, and I'm staring fucking daggers into the back of her bitchy head, and oh my god I wanted to pull her shitty little hat off of it and shove it down her fucking throat, I was so pissed. I wanted to punch her in the back of the neck and then stomp on her back after she fell down. I wanted revenge.

However (unfortunately?) I was thinking clearly enough to know that I didn't want to make a scene in front of her kids, and my kid; I mean... I'm not a crazy person (okay. I'm not a complete crazy person). But mostly I didn't want to stress out Child 1, and seeing his mom confront a skinny (I assume; I didn't actually get a good look at her) bitchy Berkeley mom minutes before he starts at a brand new unfamiliar camp would definitely stress him out.

So I made a choice to not confront her shitty little face about how much of a bitch she is and I was forced to swallow my rage in order to provide a good example for my child. And as I walked into the camp, picturing myself squeezing her throat until it snapped, I wished that I had some kind of outlet for my frustration and anger.

When suddenly... I remembered! I know about 501 people who might find my pain and anguish amusing, especially if I include poorly drawn visuals! I'll channel my rage into a post! I'll blog about this! That will ease my pain.

Yeah, it didn't. Of course. I'm still pissed. And now whenever I go back to the camp I'm going to be looking for her, and hoping that I can run over her foot with my giant car.... or something..... Or? Maybe I can find out who she is so I can email this post to her.....