Dear Would Be Friend,
Lord knows, I’m not in a position to be turning down friends, but I’m not sure this is working out. I know that, as the Aspie, I’m supposed to be the one who’s clueless about the whole interpersonal relationship thing, but I’m gonna give you some clues about how to be my friend.
- Don’t blow me off. My concerns and worries are just as valid as anyone else’s. If you want to be my friend, you should respect me enough not to laugh and make some flippant remark indicating that these aren’t things I should be “wasting time on”.
- Stop the power plays. I’m not interested in being friends with someone who periodically feels it necessary to play some kind of passive/aggressive game to make sure she “stays on top”. It’s stupid, childish, and hurtful.
I’ll tell you what, being a friend of mine could be a great thing for you. I’m fiercely loyal, an excellent listener, and extremely generous with my friends. I also have a great sense of humor and am a lot of fun. But continue in your current course, and you’re not gonna get to find that out. And that’ll be your loss. I’m thankful for your assistance, and I respect your knowledge, but that’s as far as it’ll go if you don’t change the way you treat me. I might be insecure and immature, but I’m smart enough, and respect myself enough to not allow you or anyone else to be crappy to me, whether it’s intentional or not.
Sincerely,
Not That Desperate
