I've been tagged... in a MEME of all things!

I've been tagged in a meme called, um, something about books. I'm not sure it actually has a name. Normally I hate these things, actually I still hate these things, because you're supposed to do something and then make other people do it; that's why I created my own, ironic meme. Oh, you didn't know it was ironic? You thought it was real? HA HA HA HA!! SUCKERS!! Anyway, I usually just ignore stuff like this because (I'm a bitch and) I usually can't handle the pressure of having to both properly conform to the rules and then pass it on to the appropriate people. I'm always worried that I'm going to offend somebody by either leaving them out or including them in the list and it's kind of a weird feeling that I'd rather just not have.

This time, however, I've been tagged by Laura at Life in the House that Asperger Built and Laura is a great bloggy friend of mine (it's funny how I say she's a "great bloggy friend," when I don't actually know her at all, do I? I mean she claims to be a married, Aspie mom of 2 but as far as I know she's really a 17 year old boy living in his parents' basement). So, because "Laura" (if that's even her real name) has tagged me, I will participate in this one. Also because I've decided to switch things up just enough to keep it interesting and safe for me. Hee.

So, the rules of the meme are simple. I am to take a picture of the books on my bedside table, briefly say whether or not I’m enjoying them and then tag as many people as there are books by my bed. Yeah, though, that's kind of the first problem right there. See, I don't have any books on my bedside table. It's not because I'm dumb and anti-reading (I SAID NOT) but years of having totally fucked up eyeballs where the experience of reading is physically painful have made reading something I no longer wish to do for pleasure (due to its lack of pleasure). Even now, with relatively normal eyeballs, I've just been so conditioned to be turned off by the whole experience that I can't even bring myself to try or care. And I can't read in bed, anyway, because once the contacts are out it's just a bunch of blurry dots. So, I listen to a lot of audio books (Jim Dale is my hero!!) but they're all stored on my hard drive and not stacked on my bedside table.

So, I've decided to take a picture of the books that are on Child 2's bedside table, instead. I mean, I read those pretty much every day, anyway, so they kind of count, right? Right! And now here we are.

First of all, this is the actual picture of Child 2's bedside table:

And there are just the ones "on" the table, you should see the rest of the room

Yeah, that's obviously way too many, so I've picked 5 out of the pile(s):

Sorry about the flash/reflection thingy. Awkward.

And now to tell you of the books and whether or not I like them!!

1. If Mom Had Three Arms by Pete Whitehead. It's okay, I guess, but honestly I get a little bitter hearing about all the things this dude's mom could do with all those extra arms, because if I had all those extra arms, I could do those things, too... but no. So, I don't know... I'm torn.

2. Encyclopedia Prehistorica Dinosaurs: The Definitive Pop-Up [Hardcover] by Matthew Reinhart. This book is awesome! When you turn the pages the, uh.... iiiiiiii gggggggg uuuuuuuuu aaaaaaa nnnnnn oooooooo dddd oooooooo nnnnnnnns and the Pachelopes and all the other dudes come jumping out at you, just like in real life!! Kick ass!!

3. Big Red Car (The Wiggles). You know, I want to like this book, I really do. I mean, they're riding in the countryside, they see a scarecrow just over the hill, it's really a great idea in theory; it's just that Jeff is such a dick, he makes it really hard for me to empathize with his character. And the others just go along with whatever he says all the time? That's not teamwork, Jeff, that's a fucking dictatorship. Not cool, Jeff. Not cool.

4. Oh, Yuck! The Encyclopedia of Everything Nasty by Joy Masoff (Author) and Terry Sirrell (Illustrator). Yeah... you know... just, ew. I mean..... ew, no. I don't like this one.

5. My First Picture Book of Numbers by Brian Miles. It's not horrible, but it's not wonderful, either. I guess it's just a little bit too predictable for me.

On to the second part of the meme where I am to tag as many people as there are books. 

Yeah, I don't like having to do this part, either, so this time I've decided that rather than pick which 5 of my friends I want to honor/embarrass/burden/whatever I am, instead, going to pick 4 bloggers who are waaaaaaay more popular than I am and will likely never even know I've tagged them. That way the pressure is completely off because probably none of these people have any idea who I even am. Oh, and also tulpen. Hee.

1. Allie Brosh from Hyperbole and a Half. Allie is my blog idol. She's the reason I started blogging in the first place. Allie, you've been tagged!!

2. Aunt Becky from Mommy Wants Vodka. Aunt Becky is my favorite Mom Blogger, even though she obviously stole my name, like 6 years before I even thought of it. I'll forgive her, though, because she's also responsible for Band Back Together and Mushroom Printing. Tag, Becky..... you're it!

3. Jenny at The Bloggess. Jenny is a fucking legend; she's a brilliant humor writer and blogger and she somehow managed to get Wil Wheaton to take a picture of himself collating papers for her. Fucking brilliant. TAG.

4. Kris at Pretty All True. She is the reigning #1 at Top Mommy Blogs and has been for a while, but if you've been watching (obsessively, every day, as I have been) that #2 chick (who is no longer me, I'm #3 now thanks for nothing) is slooooooowly creeping up on her. And do you know why? Do you know why? It's because Kris doesn't wear an apron and juggle fucking blenders. She's an unconventional mommy blogger and unconventional bloggers don't get mentioned by Parents magazine unless it's their Mad Magazine edition, and once you've been mentioned by Parents magazine I figure you've pretty much solidified yourself as a Top Mommy Blogger (I told hubs this and he said "there's no way in hell Parents magazine would ever, ever mention you). Anyway, I like unconventional better than conventional any day of the week. No offense, Mumsyhood, I'm just really intimidated by your gorgeous child and your beautiful blog and the fact that you can fucking juggle computers and apples and rolling pins while your boobs still look great in that tight apron.

5. tulpen at Bad Words. Sorry, tulpsters, I don't know why I love fucking with you so much; maybe it's because you're my Fairy Blog Mother and you suck at it? Maybe because you fucking hate these things and I find it amusing to taunt you with that? Maybe because I know you'll never do it, will tell me to fuck off and that also takes the pressure off? It could be any one of those things, actually. You pick!

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