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Do you see that number?
That's the number 4.
That is not the number 2. Or even the number 3.
No. That's a 4.
And do you know why that's a 4 and not the 2 that it once was?
Do you?
Huh?
Do you ???
It's because you people don't click enough.
There. I said it. I'm sorry it had to come to this but it's time I was finally honest with you.
This is your fault.
See, I'm watching you, in my site stats; and I see you ... those of you who come here every day, expecting the free funny. Yeah, that's right, you just suck up all the funny and you give me nothing in return.
Not one single click.
And I know who you are, you know.
Oh, yes, I know who each of you are (uh... for the most part) and I SEE YOU when you read and don't click.
And.... I'm remembering. I'm like a fucking elephant with the remembering. I will remember these acts that you have perpetrated against me. You with your "I want the free funny!" and "I don't want to have to click on anything while I'm here!!" and "WAAAAAHHHH MY FINGER IS TOO TIRED" YOU SOUND LIKE MY 5 YEAR OLD!
Even if you don't actually say these things... you sound like my 5 year old ... in my head.
I'm going to give you people the weekend to make it up to me by clicking here. Until then, I will be in my bedroom ... under the covers ... pouting. My lower lip will actually be sticking out the entire time. AND POSSIBLY QUIVERING. At some point I may emerge so that I can go to the bathroom and quietly cry to myself, but then I'll go straight back to bed and pout some more.
So, think about that, people. Think about me, this weekend, doing that. Do you feel guilty? Do you feel responsible?
And if you don't make it up to me by the end of the weekend? If you don't? When I resume blogging on Monday, or on whatever day I forget I'm supposed to be pouting, from that point forward I'm going to blog about nothing but kittens. Kittens.... and rainbows.
Is that what you want?
Is that what you want??
Because that's what you'll get if you don't make this up to me.
Think about it.
