Yeah. Good Times.: I don't understand how this happened

xmlns:og='http://ogp.me/ns#' Yeah. Good Times.: I don't understand how this happened

Friday, March 25, 2011

I don't understand how this happened

I don't like yelling. It's loud. And scary. Please don't yell at me. If you're in another part of the house and you want to tell me something, please get up and come find me instead of screaming your demands at me from 2 floors away. Chances are pretty good that I can't hear what you said, anyway. So, I'll yell back "WHAT?" And you'll repeat whatever you just said, and I still didn't hear you, so I end up schlepping my fat ass to whatever room you're in to find out, when you could have just schlepped your tiny ass to me in the first place.

I'm sure that was your plan all along, you devious little bastards, so most of the time I just pretend I didn't hear it. Then the child is forced to get up and come find me. This system works better for me.

So, how the hell did I become a yeller?

Our house is what they call a split level, which means there are 2 stories on one side and 1 on the other, in the middle. It's also pretty big. As we have already established, I spend every waking moment in the kitchen, which is the middle level. The bedrooms are upstairs and the TV room is downstairs. So, I'm usually in the middle of wherever they are. And I spend a LOT of time yelling at them about stuff.

"GET YOUR SHOES ON IT'S TIME FOR SCHOOL!"

"COME IN HERE AND HAVE DINNER!"

"THREE MINUTES AND IT'S TIME FOR BED!"

"CHILD 1! DO YOU WANT CHEERIOS?"

"WHO DREW ON THE BATHROOM FLOOR?"

"WHY IS THERE A PILE OF WET SOCKS IN MY DINING ROOM?"

"CHILD 2, STOP HITTING THE CAT WITH YOUR PANTS!"

"WHO IS CRYING RIGHT NOW?"

"WHAT IS THAT SMELL???"

(etc. I'm sure you guys can come up with some of your own...)

I do this, and yet I still hate yelling. I hate it when I do it, too.

I don't understand how this happened. How did I become what I hate? I'm thinking of getting an intercom system installed.

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Comments (25)

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flyingqueenb 38p · 731 weeks ago

Had an intercom system once upon a time...I still yelled. Never could get everyone involved to understand how to work the fucking things properly and that just pissed me off which led to more yelling.

It's in Chapter 8 of "What To Expect When Your Kids Plan a Coup To Drive You Fucking Bonkers". It's the I Yell Because It's Hell chapter. :D
My recent post Ethel &amp Lucy in the Making A Guest Post from Pamela Gold

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Lady Estrogen · 731 weeks ago

I NEVER was a yeller and I despised confrontation - so needless to say it was a complete shock when I found out I was a yeller as a teacher - it was the only thing that caught their attention. I hated it! I would have lost my voice after some days - it fuckin' sucked.
I just know I'll be yelling at my kids... awe crap!
My recent post Im Not Perfect

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Kelly · 731 weeks ago

Oh yeah, I can relate. Also, I never intended to swear around my kids. Obviously that went right out the fucking window, too! Anyway, my top three yells: 1) "Who pooped?" 2) "Stop Screaming!" Ironic, no? 3) Alex, if I have to yell for you again, you'll be wearing your ass for a hat!" Alex is the Teen.
My recent post Let It Out- Little Man!

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All Fooked Up · 731 weeks ago

Hahaha...because of this exact thing, we had an intercom installed in my old house. NEVER USED IT!!! I still yelled. Eventually they move out.

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raquel · 731 weeks ago

One of my biggest pet peeves. If my kids holler out "MOM!" I holler back "Don't effing yell at me!, Come find me!" Usually works.
My recent post Happy Birthday Mason

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Brandon.in.Idaho · 731 weeks ago

What's funny is it will be a hard habit to break once they're of age and leave the house. You'll still want to yell.

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Jackie · 731 weeks ago

I could have written this post myself! And when they finally come to where I am I remind them to just go to the person instead of yelling across the damn house, they immediately forget and yell no more than 30 minutes later!

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Cheryl D. · 731 weeks ago

I can relate to this all too well!
My recent post Xtremely Funny

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ShesAlwaysWrite · 731 weeks ago

Same here - I was NEVER a yeller, hate confrontation, always try to calmly communicate with people. And then I had Bear, whose sole purpose in life seems to be figuring out how fast he can take me from reasonable human being to raging bitch.

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lhand0124 49p · 731 weeks ago

Hello..

My name is Laura...

And I'm a yeller.

:-)
My recent post Crossing Over

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solodialogue 73p · 731 weeks ago

Phew! I thought I was in trouble again for not voting! (So I voted anyway). Yelling at the little guy - not a problem cuz he seems to always be underfoot right now. Yelling at hubs - totally different story. We have an intercom- I use it. He tries to answer and every single time turns it off - so I hear a beep and silence. Then - I yell!! Really? Wtf?! I think he's hoping I'll just give up. To me, there's nothing wrong with a good yell - but I'm a lawyer so...
My recent post Separation and Exhaustion

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Lizbeth · 731 weeks ago

Hello, Laura. My name is Lizbeth, and I'm a yeller too......
My recent post Shes in there

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Big Daddy · 731 weeks ago

My favorite - "CHILD 2, STOP HITTING THE CAT WITH YOUR PANTS!"

My recent post Barney and Morpheus

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Juniper · 731 weeks ago

Mmmmhmmm. And even when they're quiet I'm like "WHY CAN'T I HEAR YOU? WHAT ARE YOU GETTING INTO?!!?" I hate it too. Some days I do better than others. Today is not one of those days.
My recent post Roasted Beets with Bleu Cheese

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Squatlo · 731 weeks ago

The intercom idea sounds great, but isn't. You'll never be close enough to reach the controls, the voices will sound as if they're coming through a tin can and fifty feet of cotton cord, and most of the time you could have ignored whatever they wanted in the first place. I always pretended I couldn't hear their calls, then listened to see if it was serious or not. Like Chief Broom in "Cuckoo's Nest" they stop worrying about you if they think you can't hear them...
My recent post ALASKAS GOVERNOR NOMINATES MAN TO JUDICIAL PANEL WHO WOULD LIKE TO MAKE EXTRA-MARITAL AND PRE-MARITAL SEX ILLEGAL

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Rhonda · 731 weeks ago

My favorite: "WHY IS THERE A PILE OF WET SOCKS IN MY DINING ROOM?" I would most definitely be yelling about that! I don't like yelling either, and I wonder the same thing, I have actually have heard myself yell, "Don't yell across the house!"
My recent post Not That Fat!

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tulpen · 731 weeks ago

I'm a yeller. I would be one, Deaf kid or not.

And I'm very thankful for those voice lessons I took throughout Junior High and High School, as my yelling has a nice tone to it and I know how to not damage my vocal chords in the process of hollering at my brats.
My recent post That Deaf And Blind Kid Sure Plays A Mean Pin The Tail On The Donkey

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akazookeeper 60p · 731 weeks ago

I hate yelling too. I blame the kids lol. And an intercom system? Probably wouldn't work for me. I'd just be yelling into the intercom.
My recent post No Mom Ever Wants To Admit This

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SquashedMom 74p · 731 weeks ago

The biggest shock of parenthood for me was how much I'd become a yeller. With one son on the autism spectrum and the other with ADD? It's mandatory to get any kind of attention from them. I remember about a year ago being alone in the grocery store with the 2 of them (yes, I'm either extremely brave or stupid - or both) and noticing horrified looks on the other shoppers faces, and that those sour pusses were being turned in my direction. Then I realized that I had spent the last, oh, FIVE minutes yelling from the aisle I was in to the aisles on either side of me where my kids were either fighting or "helping" me shop or about to cause applecart toppling disasters of epic proportions. Wow, I had become THAT Mom, and hadn't even known it. And this grocery store? On the corner of my street. I'm in there and see these same people ALL the time. Oops.
My recent post Wordless Wednesday- 2005 Edition

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sharon · 731 weeks ago

I enjoy a good yell. Find it very cathartic, Gives the lungs a good work out too.
My recent post They Have Our DNA!

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Rebecca · 731 weeks ago

An intercom will be fun. Do that. You could play with it and do all kinds of tricks....like put a recording on of you saying something on repeat and listen to it resonate throughout the whole house!
My recent post Full of Fun

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kamaness 25p · 731 weeks ago

I am glad that you put the words intercom system at the bottom of the post or I would have been swept away in lovely intercom system related dreams.
Mostly about playing hide and seek with young children and scaring the crap out of them.
Laughing evilly into it.
"Mwhahahahahaha I can see you small child!"
Also - pretending to be God.
"God commands you to bring Mel a slice of cake!"
My recent post I’m insane but that’s okay because I made sausage buns!

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Lisa · 731 weeks ago

I'm a yeller, but there are 7 kids here....if I didn't yell then no one wud listen to me. I also cuss up a storm, mostly at the hubs or the teens who have hit that wonderfully cute stage where I want to kill them every day they come home from school. So in this house its rocking with autism, adhd and teenagers, not to mention a baby and the terrible 3 stage. Yelling works
My recent post Death Scares Me

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Amanda · 731 weeks ago

This same exact thing happened to me too. I blame it on having boys. They pull that selective hearing crap on me. Too bad I'm better at that game and do it right back.
My recent post One of Those Weeks

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Cactusinyrpants 59p · 731 weeks ago

I am too good at yelling, my voice tends to boom and shake the walls. It scares the hell out of everyone including the dog. The police came once because they thought someone was being robbed or kidnapped.... I was just yelling at my kid to mow the lawn. So, we don't yell. But sometimes my wife threatens the kids and the dog with having me come in and yell at them when she needs them to get off their asses.

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