Yeah. Good Times.: Fun with Google analytics

xmlns:og='http://ogp.me/ns#' Yeah. Good Times.: Fun with Google analytics

Thursday, March 17, 2011

Fun with Google analytics

Sooner or later every blogger in the world will write a post about the fun stuff they find while looking through their site stats, in particular the various search terms that people have entered in search engines to lead them to their blog. It's like a blogging rite of passage or something.

And do you know why?

Because it's hilarious.

You look through these search terms and there's a delightful variety of awesome, and you think "wow, that search brought them here?" and "holy fuck, somebody searched for that? People are sick. (Sick and awesome). And it brought them here???"

It's fun. Although, by far the number one search term that brings people to this blog is some variation of "yeah good times jillsmo." Not very original, people. I'm thinking it's time to buy the domain name and save you the extra step.

And so, without further adieu, I present to you my Top 13 Favorite Keyword Search Term Results!

13. out of the mouths of drunks (okay, this one actually makes sense)

12. how to butcher a goat yourself (I'm sure the pictorial provided valuable help)

11. BART trains (kind of proud of this one)

10. drunk elmo (Awwww, I miss drunk elmo)

9. Big Daddy Autism (this one actually kind of offends me. WTF??)

8. hours fuckong (I have no idea but I love it)

7. what a fecking day, and it just seems to get worse (I know the feeling!!)

6. my brain is ruined (OMG MINE, TOO!!)

5. kittens poop rainbows (WIN)

4. can you feed rat poison to raccoons? (I say yes)

3. guy about to kill somebody sleeping (that got them to this picture. Lucky!!)

2. it makin me yeah (it totally makin me, too)

And my number one favorite keyword search term that somebody used to find my blog......

1. things i can fuck in my house

Comments (43)

Logging you in...

Dashboard | Edit profile | Logout

Logged in as

0 Vote up Vote down

Kelly · 732 weeks ago

That is a pretty impressive list of crazy and awesome. Kinda like you! A little confused about the Number 1 favorite, though. I mean, I guess I could fuck other things in my house, but to be honest, finding time for The Hubs is hard enough without his competing with inanimate objects.
My recent post Did You Know

1 reply · active less than 1 minute ago

+1 Vote up Vote down

jillsmo 103p · 732 weeks ago

Maybe you should try googling it and you'll be motivated to carve out some time in your schedule

+1 Vote up Vote down

kwombles 38p · 732 weeks ago

:-) Have I told you that Countering and one of Kathleen's and my blogs gets found regularly through pharma whores and Arkansas pussy?
My recent post Cross-Post at the Directory and the Petition Divide

1 reply · active 732 weeks ago

+1 Vote up Vote down

jillsmo 103p · 732 weeks ago

*jealous of you*

(I'm going to go Google those now and see what happens.....)

+1 Vote up Vote down

heatherlisa 37p · 732 weeks ago

LMAO well my little keyword search is no where near as interesting as that lol
My recent post And The Winner Is

0 Vote up Vote down

Big Daddy · 732 weeks ago

Um, wow. Number one is, um, wow. Better than Arkansas pussy, right? Anyhoo, glad to be of assistance on Numbers 9 and 12. You're welcome.
My recent post Disney World – Main Street- USA

+1 Vote up Vote down

lhand0124 49p · 732 weeks ago

OMG! That's hysterical. I've looked before at my search terms to do a post like this, but um...they're not funny...let's just leave it at that. :-)
My recent post What exactly is the lesson here

+1 Vote up Vote down

dawn 58p · 732 weeks ago

fuckin' racoons...

(that is in no way related to #1, btw. ew.)

1 reply · active 732 weeks ago

+1 Vote up Vote down

jillsmo 103p · 732 weeks ago

Yeah, 'cause... ew.

0 Vote up Vote down

Lynn · 732 weeks ago

I don't understand why someone would have to do a search on things that they can fuck in their own house. I think they should trust their own judgment rather than Google's. Awwww....me miss drunk Elmo too. Meeting Heather today...finally!!!
My recent post My Feelings My Audrey

1 reply · active less than 1 minute ago

+1 Vote up Vote down

jillsmo 103p · 732 weeks ago

Oooh cool!! Take pictures :)

0 Vote up Vote down

Amanda · 732 weeks ago

You're right. We do it because it's hilarious. I'm a little worried about the person who had to search things to fuck in their own house though. Hopefully they stuck with apple pie.
My recent post 3M Natural View Screen Protector – Review

1 reply · active 732 weeks ago

+1 Vote up Vote down

jillsmo 103p · 732 weeks ago

I know, right? Why did they have to google that? And what kind of helpful advice was I able to provide, I wonder?

0 Vote up Vote down

@pugariffic73 · 732 weeks ago

hahahaaaa! i have a whole new level of respect for you hahaaa!

1 reply · active less than 1 minute ago

+1 Vote up Vote down

jillsmo 103p · 732 weeks ago

YAY! I think o.0

0 Vote up Vote down

Cheryl D. · 732 weeks ago

My search terms are not that funny. I could never blog about them! Sigh.
My recent post The Magic Is Still There!

0 Vote up Vote down

Dani G · 732 weeks ago

Kittens Poop Rainbows for the muthafucking WIN!!!!!
My recent post A love story

1 reply · active less than 1 minute ago

+1 Vote up Vote down

jillsmo 103p · 732 weeks ago

TOTALLY

0 Vote up Vote down

Rachel · 732 weeks ago

I'm sorry, but Kim has definitely upstaged you with the "pharma whores" search. That's hilarious! But don't feel bad. If you do a post called "pharma whores," then people will find you that way, too, and you will be as cool as Kim. See how easy?

Off to click on the juggling chick....

1 reply · active 732 weeks ago

+1 Vote up Vote down

jillsmo 103p · 732 weeks ago

Well, I don't yet have a topic for tomorrow... hmmmmm......

0 Vote up Vote down

Amanda · 732 weeks ago

Your posts always make me smile... this one had me LMAO.... You are too cute. Hilarious. Whether you are telling someone off or looking up odd things on Google, you make me laugh. Thanks :)
My recent post Go Ahead and Make-a-Wish -

1 reply · active less than 1 minute ago

+1 Vote up Vote down

jillsmo 103p · 732 weeks ago

Thanks!! :)

0 Vote up Vote down

Amy · 732 weeks ago

ROFL!!! That is hilarious. I have done a few posts on the search terms people type into my feed. I truly is hilarious!

0 Vote up Vote down

Jordyn · 732 weeks ago

BAHAHA! So funny! I literally lol'd at like at least 7 of these. I use google about 50 times a day and can relate to some of the posts . . . .
Reminds me of the book I bought for my sister for Christmas - "Whoogles" (Who would google that) available at Urban Outfitters - definitely a good buy!

My recent post Thanks- Uncle Jesse!

1 reply · active 732 weeks ago

+1 Vote up Vote down

jillsmo 103p · 732 weeks ago

Only 7? Well, that's more than 50% so I guess I'm okay ;)

0 Vote up Vote down

@heym0mxtwo · 732 weeks ago

LMAO. An unfortunate side affect of my jerk off post is that more than one person has apparently found my site with the search term "moms that like to be jerked off". NICE.
My recent post WARNING- RAW POST with CURSING

1 reply · active less than 1 minute ago

+1 Vote up Vote down

jillsmo 103p · 732 weeks ago

LMAO! Oh. That's not right. *giggle*

+1 Vote up Vote down

autismandoughtisms 31p · 732 weeks ago

That made me laugh out loud, well done! :D

My Google search terms tend to depress or just confuse me. For example, three from just this morning:

- miserable mum autistic child
- i have forgotten how to do physical activity
- yoda hates computer

I'm thinking Yoda's on to something there, I hate computer myself sometimes too.

My recent post Mothering and Belonging

1 reply · active 732 weeks ago

+2 Vote up Vote down

jillsmo 103p · 732 weeks ago

I've forgotten how to do physical activity, too. I'd better google that and see what kind of advice you have for me

0 Vote up Vote down

nadine · 732 weeks ago

I am so glad I just read this. Literally made me spit out my crackers laughing. Ok, not crackers, really they were Girl Scout Lemonades cookies that I hide from my kids. But now they are crumbs on my keyboard. Thanks I needed this today!

1 reply · active less than 1 minute ago

+1 Vote up Vote down

jillsmo 103p · 732 weeks ago

OMG I just bought my third box of Samoas in a week. I think I have a problem.....

0 Vote up Vote down

sharon · 732 weeks ago

Thanks for the blog topic idea.
I wonder, for the number one search query, is that a man or woman looking, coz the possibilities seem endless for one gender over the other. I'll leave you to decide which one.
My recent post Warning - Shameless Self Promotion Ahead

0 Vote up Vote down

Rhonda@Laugh Quotes · 732 weeks ago

Too funny. People are really twisted. That last one had me ROFL
My recent post Cast Off!

0 Vote up Vote down

ShanimalsCrackers · 732 weeks ago

Wow, yours are SO entertaining/weird. I was actually going to write a post on searchwords that bring people to my blog, but I only have one word that brings them there--cheesestick. Eh. Well, it's okay. Cheesesticks are really good!

1 reply · active less than 1 minute ago

+1 Vote up Vote down

jillsmo 103p · 732 weeks ago

I LOVE cheesesticks! I'm eating one right now! I'm NOT KIDDING.

0 Vote up Vote down

tulpen · 732 weeks ago

'things i can fuck in my house'

that was totally me.
My recent post Just Skip To The End For The Eye Candy

1 reply · active 732 weeks ago

+1 Vote up Vote down

jillsmo 103p · 732 weeks ago

I hope I was able to provide you with some helpful suggestions

0 Vote up Vote down

theultimateoutcast · 732 weeks ago

So funny! I found you via the great 'Princess Muffintop'.

I'm constantly surprised by what people are searching for out there:

mother's stupitidy
Sam Worthington circumcised (this is the guy from Avatar)
my son vibrator mom (SCARY!)
how to dress like snooki

I wrote about Snooki 2 times & her followers have come my site in droves, with Snooki fat, snooki pretty for a total of 10,000+ visits.

Next in line: 2012 end of the world --700.

If google tells us anything, I think more people are thinking about snooki than the end of the world. An uplifting thought?
My recent post Building A Castle Of Dreams

1 reply · active less than 1 minute ago

+1 Vote up Vote down

jillsmo 103p · 732 weeks ago

Or maybe it means that Snooki writing a book has brought about the end of the world.

It's a possibility.

+1 Vote up Vote down

kamaness 25p · 732 weeks ago

I am tempted now.
Very tempted.
Am very jealous about your awesome search phrases that people have came up with.

Also? I showered you in adoration.
My recent post SHING! Light up my world baby Set it on FIRE!

0 Vote up Vote down

karen · 732 weeks ago

Oh man--number 1 was completely disturbing somehow. Please tell me it's just a bunch of teenagers sitting around laughing so hard they're crying, playing a modern version of "looking through the dictionary for dirty words" type game.
My recent post How To Kill The PMS Monster Part 5- PMS CAN SUCK IT!

+1 Vote up Vote down

KarenASMom 75p · 732 weeks ago

I thought this program was Rated G. Oops...wrong channel!
My recent post Social Skills 102

0 Vote up Vote down

janelle · 731 weeks ago

I love this so much I want to cry. Big joyous tears. You're my new favorite. Word.
My recent post beginning to see why people home school

Post a new comment

Comment as a Guest, or login:

Submit Comment

Subscribe to

Comments by IntenseDebate

Subscribe to: Post Comments (Atom)