To my beloved coffee:
Hi. How have you been? I know that we still talk every day so I shouldn't really need to write you this letter, but... well... things have changed for us, haven't they? I don't even know when it started, all I know is that it's just not the same as it used to be. Has our relationship just gotten stale, or is there more? You don't give me the same feelings that you used to give me. I can have cup after cup of your deliciousness but I'm never not tired, and I don't get that wired up feeling I used to get. What happened? Was it me? Did I change? If so, please tell me how I can change back. Maybe it's just because I'm older? Maybe it's because we've been together so long? I don't know why, all I know is that I want you back the way you were.
Because, you see, I miss you; I miss you so much. I miss that feeling like my skin is buzzing, or that I want to get out of my chair and jump up and down just because I have the energy. I still drink you every day, of course, even if you don't wake me up anymore. Maybe it's just out of habit now? Maybe because I just can't bear to actually let you go. I can't imagine my life without you, we've been together for so long. You were there for me on my darkest mornings, when a baby and an autistic toddler had kept me up all night long. You never asked questions, you just provided your chemicals and your wonderful smell and flavor, and never even asked for anything in return. Oh, of course, there were the headaches if I skipped a day, and luckily that very rarely happened, but I don't even get the headaches anymore. Is it that I just don't need you? That doesn't seem fair, because I still want you; so much.
We had it again recently, very briefly, when I found the Tesora blend at Philz on Shattuck. For a while, an all too brief while, it was like you were back in my life as you had always been, but now it's gone again. And of course I've tried your chemicals in other ways, but I've never been a soda drinker (unless it has alcohol in it) and I fucking hate tea. 5 Hour Energy seemed promising, but it tasted kind of gross and didn't make me feel as good as you used to.
Do I just have to give you up? Is this just how our relationship is going to be? I hate it; and I miss you, coffee. I miss you.
EDIT: Check out this post from Alexandra at Good Day, Regular People who wrote almost exactly the same love letter to coffee about a month ago. Hers comes with an awesome and hilarious video of Dave Grohl, too!
Did you find that mildly amusing? Do you think I'm fucking nuts? Do I seem like an idiot to you now? Do you think I'm the most awesome person EVER? If any of these apply to you, CLICK HERE NOW!