The Dive Bar Welcomes: Karen

Well hello Karen! Karen writes at her self-described "G rated" blog Solodialogue and I am thrilled to be able to give her a chance to show some of her R rated side. Because, really, can't we all relate to what she's talking about here? I know I can. Go, Karen, go!!

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Dear Dirty Sickie C-Rag that brought your kids to Gym Class,

I brought my son for his 2nd gym class ever two weeks ago. We were both in perfect health. I do not know the social dynamics of the mamas and the papas in this group. When I sat down, you were out for coffee across the street. I guess, if you could go for coffee, that fucking means that you fucking did not need to be there at all, did you? But you, being an idiot, skanked your way back into the waiting room and sat your sorry ass one folding chair away from me. Then, you started hacking and sneezing your shitty germs all in my direction without even an attempt to cover your fucking face.

There was no escape. It was like fucking musical chairs in there. Your daughter was in class, shedding her germ-ridden tears all over the everyone and everything, including the gym equipment because you went for coffee. You know what that meant, bitch? All the other kids, including my son, were infected with this shit.

As for me? There were no other seats further away from you. All the other dumb-ass parents, talked to you like you were all BFFs. What the fuck?! Really, people? To top it off you brought your toddling little 18 month old WHO WAS NOT IN THE CLASS with you, he in full-on sick glory with green, dripping snot running down his face? How do I fuckin’ know? Because while you were skank-hoe’ing it up with the other daddies there, you let him wander right over to me and wipe his snotty little hands all over my coat and use me for his own personal balance beam.

The child needed to be at home, quarantined with you! You are so lucky that I did not get up and bitch slap you right there. Especially, when you told the two daddies’ on your other side, “I’ve never felt worse in my life,” What gets me even more? They laughed!! Am I the only one who was not in the fucking Twilight Zone there?

The topper? Your fucking moron of a husband was NOT sick and he was there with you!!! He was laughing while you tried to sell it to the dirty m-f’ing dick-dads who did not have the balls to tell you to get your fuckin’ germs out of there! Could you and your husband be bigger douche-bags?

Thanks to your generosity in sharing your fucked up germs, my son, who has asthma, has been hacking up a lung for five days and shitting his baby balls off all over my house, my sheets, and my carpet! Not that you fucking give a shit. Wish you were here, bitch. I’d rub your face in it!

Love & Kisses,

Your fellow gym mom

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