I've been thinking about taking a break from blogging. Don't worry, I probably won't, I've just been thinking about it. I hate making grand declarations of things like "I'M GOING TO START TAKING CARE OF MY BODY AND STOP EATING GLASS ONCE AND FOR ALL" because I never follow through and then I feel like an idiot for having said it in the first place, so I'd rather just not announce my plans about anything; and yet .... here we are.
I just don't think I'm doing it right. I take it too seriously, I care too much about how many followers I have and how many comments I get on each post and how many unique visits I get a day. That's not, and shouldn't be, the point of this whole thing. I think the people who are doing it right don't actually obsess over things like that. So, I thought it might be good for my mental health to just step back a little.
Plus, I'm always so concerned about having a new post every day, so I end up putting up crap that I don't like (I mean the things I've written, not the guest posts or Dive Bar posts that other people have written). I read once on some blog somewhere that when (whoever it was) starts to get that "should post something" feeling then what they'll come up with will seem forced and inauthentic. That's a really good attitude. I need to do that. Instead, I've been forcing myself, inauthentically (it's a word!) to come up with something every day and, well, some of it... okay most of it... is total shit. So, I'm going to try this thing where I don't post every day. And I won't feel an overwhelming urge to fill in the empty spaces with stuff.
But... if I don't post something every day, will you forget about me? Will you move on to somebody else who babbles incoherently and makes no sense? There are a lot of us out there, you know. I'm afraid you'll forget about me. On the other hand, I'm also afraid you'll get bored of me. I'm also afraid of not being funny. I think I need some perspective. Or vodka.
I'm just going to try it. It probably won't last.