|One day? When she's famous? And she writes her memoirs? She will be forced to mention me.|
Child 2 sees it and says "AWWWWW! Look a the giraffe! It's so cute!! But what is he saying?"
I read to him: "I'm the tallest mammal on earth."
Him: What else is he saying?
Me: That's it, that's all he's saying.
Him: No, there's more after that. What does it say?
Me: Grownup stuff. Okay, let's move on, nothing to see here....
Him: uuuuuuuuucccckkkkkk on that wwwwwwwwww
Me: OH, GOD, NO! STOP READING! STOP!!
Him: wwwwwworrrrrrrllddddddd. It says "Suck on that world!"
Me: STOP BEING ABLE TO READ, YOU'RE FREAKING ME OUT. *
* Dramatization. May not have happened.