Trolled by a 5 year old who can read

So, I'm sitting here lookin at internet stuff and Child 2 is sitting in my lap watching TV. I go to visit my awesome friend the mrs and encounter the perfectly delightful picture of a giraffe that she has drawn....

One day? When she's famous? And she writes her memoirs? She will be forced to mention me.

Child 2 sees it and says "AWWWWW! Look a the giraffe! It's so cute!! But what is he saying?"

I read to him: "I'm the tallest mammal on earth."

Him: What else is he saying?

Me: That's it, that's all he's saying.

Him: No, there's more after that. What does it say?

Me: Grownup stuff. Okay, let's move on, nothing to see here....

Him: Ssssssssssssssuuuuuuuuuuuuu

Me: NOOO!!!!!

Him: uuuuuuuuucccckkkkkk on that wwwwwwwwww

Me: OH, GOD, NO! STOP READING! STOP!!

Him: wwwwwworrrrrrrllddddddd. It says "Suck on that world!"

Me: STOP BEING ABLE TO READ, YOU'RE FREAKING ME OUT. *

* Dramatization. May not have happened.

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