OH MY GOD. I think I'm going to lose the last shred of sanity I've been desperately clinging to. 4 cats, 2 kids and never a moment to myself. Every time I sit down at my desk and try to write something, a fucking cat comes and sits on my keyboard. (Pro tip: You can crash your computer by having Chrome open an infinite number of new tabs). I have at least 3 unfinished posts in my drafts folder that I want to finish, but they're very cerebral and require a lot of quiet time and contemplation; I can't whip them out quickly, but I never have enough alone time at my computer to make that happen. Right now I'm desperately trying to write this as fast as I possibly can before she realizes I'm no longer in the room where the laundry is (at least she's slow).
And then when I try to get up and go do something else because she's driving me nuts at my desk? She follows me, and sits on that, too. Whatever it is. And this has been during the day, when the kids are at school, and I haven't been working. I actually do have some work to do right now, but I can't fucking get anything done with a goddamn CAT on my keyboard all the time. It's making me fucking crazy. And I don't even like cats.
And then when the kids get home it's just that much worse. There is no room in this house that I can escape to because somebody will either come and find me or there's already somebody in there. The other day, I was trying to make dinner and I'm in the kitchen, and there's Cat #1, standing there yelling at me. I give him food and snacks, but he doesn't want that, I don't know what the fuck he wants; he wants to fucking kill me, is what he wants, because whenever I try to walk he circles around my ankles and tries to trip me. Or, he'll suddenly appear behind me as I'm taking a step and I practically break my neck trying not to break his. One of these days, cat......
So, I got really frustrated with trying to get stuff done in the kitchen, and I give up for a little while and sit down at my desk and try to do something... anything. Help me, Twitter! Immediately there's Cat #2 on my keyboard. I throw her off but she's a fucking cat boomerang and immediately comes right back. But hey, I've got a laptop, I can move this fucker anywhere, right? So I grab it up and take it upstairs to the bedroom where... you guessed it... there's Cat #3 on the bed, waiting for me. This one doesn't like to sleep on computers, she likes to sleep on people. It's difficult to type when there's a cat on your hands. Can you believe that??
So, okay, fuck this... I grab up my laptop again and I head downstairs to the TV room... where Child 2 is. I sit on the couch next to him and he immediately wraps himself around my arm and holds onto my hand. Awwww.... right? Yeah. Whatever. I can't do anything that way, either!! But now that I'm in the room, I also can't get back up and go back into the kitchen to continue making dinner, because now he's hanging onto my arm and won't let me go.
There is no place in this house where I am safe from somebody who fucking loves me and wants to snuggle with me. IT IS REALLY ANNOYING.
GAAAHHH!!! SHE'S BACK!!!1qqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqq
P.S. My friend Tina, who blogs at Not Just Another Mother Blogger, whom I have known for years, and who I LOVE. So very very much. Has created a game. A game called Six Degrees of jillsmo. I love this game. I love this game a lot. Please go and visit her and tell her how awesome she is.....