What does "smo" mean, anyway?

Many of you were confused by my logo yesterday, and only a handful of you actually got the reference. That disappoints me. Very much. I can only assume, as I often do, is that you all fucked it up so badly because you're just too young to understand my ancient references. Whatever, youngsters. I bet you have perky boobs, too. WHATEVER. (bitch). The "extra points" that were promised, however, goes to K from Two Adults, One Brown Baby who can also be found on Twitter at TwoAdults. (I'm not sure, exactly, what the points get you. Maybe you can cash them in at the jillsmo store at some future date? Well, in any case, hold onto your points in case something like that happens. FYI: You might be holding onto those points for a really long time and I can't guarantee that they won't get moldy and gross after a while....)

Anyhoozle.... The purpose of the reference wasn't necessarily the "smo" part of it; it was the rest that was important, but a lot of you got stuck on the smo of it all, so I thought I'd explain. And no, I'm not going to tell you the answer to the Circle Smo reference if you didn't get it. Ask K!

So.... have you ever noticed that my name is jillsmo? Many of you probably say that in your head as "jillz-mo" as in, "Jill has a Mo and she's not afraid to use it." (I do, actually... and I'm not. But that's not important right now).

I HAVE ONE OF THESE AND I'M NOT AFRAID TO USE IT

No, the truth behind my username is much more complicated and uninteresting than me simply owning a Mo and knowing how to use it. My username is actually the condensed version of Jill (my motherfucking NAME) and the word Smo. What is a "smo," you ask? Well. I'll tell you!

See, when hubs and I first met, we liked to drink (snicker). And when we first moved in together, we got ourselves a bunch of cats: Cassidy, the fucking insane-ass calico who didn't live past 5 months or so, because she was fucking crazy and we lived on a really busy street. (You can probably guess how that ended up ). Indica, but we called him The Big Guy, and his brother Sativa, who we called The Little Guy (do you see what we did there?? No? Okay, I'll draw you another picture.....)

You see, dear readers, there used to be a time, before kids, that I actually liked cats. It seems like forever ago, and actually it was. It was about 18 years ago. That's forever, right? Anyway, we loved our cats, and our "pet" name for them was "Smo." Why were they called smo? Well, that's related to the sentence above where I say that hubs and I "used to" like to drink. Any questions? No? Okay, moving on....

So, back in 1993 or 4 or whatever 199 it was, I got a big-ass awesome new computer (THANK YOU STEVE JOBS). One day, I was at work and hubs was setting up my 1200 baud modem (OH MY GOD IT WAS SO FAST) and he called me to say that he was creating an America Online account for me, and what did I want my username to be? Little did I know that this particular decision would literally define the rest of my online life. Literally. DEFINE.

We went through a few options and none of them were available, and then I had to go do work stuff or something, so he was like "what about Jill Smo?" and I was like "yeah, whatever, make it happen."

And that's how Jill Smo was born: A simple lack of time and imagination. Years later when Child 1 was a baby and I decided to sign up for the message boards at ComedyCentral.com because I wanted to complain to Jon Stewart about Likes it Rough Elmo, I needed a username in order to make a post. (also so that I could tell that fucker rards how SO VERY WRONG he was about a potential war in Iraq. OH MY GOD HE WAS SO WRONG.) I needed to think of something QUICK so I picked my old faithful Jill Smo. Except it wouldn't let me use a space or capital letters, so I shortened it to jillsmo.

(Have I mentioned how SO VERY WRONG rards was about the war in Iraq?)

(SO WRONG.)

Anyway, that was almost 10 years ago, and I've kept the name because it's just how people know me online.

And... that explains everything.

*cough*

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